This is Mine!

This lovely bag is my mom's early birthday present to me. Isn't it so pretty? With its perfect shade of ballet slipper pink and frilly chiffon bows, it reminds me of my On Pointe inspiration board. 

The way I see it, you can never have too many purses. ♥

Watch: "Twelfth Night"

I saw this film, "Twelfth Night" (1996), in my Shakespeare class last semester and I fell in love with it. Although it wasn't a perfect adaptation of Shakespeare's play, what I loved most about this film was:

  

1) Director and screenwriter Trevor Nunn took artistic liberties in rearranging some of the scenes and omitting dialogue, but ultimately stayed true to Shakespeare's play.

2) Absolutely stunning scenery. The story was moved from the Elizabethan era to 19th century Cornwall - much more my cup of tea.

3) I loved the music. When paired with the scenery, it was like watching a moving Impressionist painting.

4) Superb cast - Imogen Stubbs was flawless as Viola/Cesario, as was Helena Bonham Carter as Olivia. Ben Kingsley was an interesting choice as the wise fool, Feste. And Toby Stephens (Duke Orsino) was definitely easy on the eyes. :) 

To me, the play/film's most clear message is not only how love causes suffering, but how common it is for people to actually enjoy that suffering. I found myself asking, "Does Orsino really love Olivia? Or is he just in love with the idea of being in love?"

Viola is hands down, my favorite Shakespearean heroine. I love how she is always truthful about her feelings, even if she has to disguise her identity. It kind of makes you wonder, if this girl can wear her heart on her sleeve even while pretending to be someone else, what excuse do the rest of us have?

Is is just me, or does a young Helena Bonham Carter look kind of like Keira Knightley?

Inspired by "Twelfth Night"

1. puffed sleeve military jacket from Forever 21

2. gray dress from Ruche

3. veiled headband from Forever 21

4. silk blouse from Net-A-Porter

5. antique ring from Erie Basin

6. Victorian boots from brandsonSale

Meet Me at Twilight

It's official. One of my new favorite colors is midnight blue. I love how darkly romantic and moody this color looks with pewter and lavender. How gorgeous would this dress look with smokey eyes done in shades of gray and long, side-parted hair? ♥

It's the middle of January and this is how I expected the weather to look. Nope. It's bright outside and 72 degrees. (I might be the only person in Southern California complaining about that!) Oh well, here's hoping for more cool, overcast days.

Meet Me at Twilight by pemberleyrose featuring stila eyeshadow

Back to School Inspiration: Vintage Typewriters

I know Back to School time is normally around August-September, but I am starting school again soon after a very long winter break. And I know this sounds strange, but I actually enjoy shopping for school supplies (book bags, journals, notebooks, etc.) almost as much as I love shopping for clothes and accessories.

 book bag

kraft paper notebook

black notebook

typewriter art print

typewriter key pendant

Style Post 1.16.11

Today's Style Post is pretty simple - just a slightly dressier version of the classic jeans and a white t-shirt look. What I really want to show off today is my brand new hair! Yup, you read that right. Hair, not just hairstyle.

I've actually had this wig for almost a week and I've worn in out a few times already. And now it's time for its blog debut!

TA DA! A HUGE difference from my short and spiky pixie cut, don't you think? This is actually about as long as my hair was when I was 17-18. I love it because it not only covers up what's left of my own thin patchy hair, but it makes having perfect hair days absolutely effortless. I just slip this on and I'm all ready to go. :)

Now for the rest of my outfit...

I could wear this top off the shoulders too if I wanted a little bit more of a sultry look.

The last time my grandma went back to the Philippines, she brought me back this gorgeous freshwater pearl necklace. I love the organic shapes and the mermaid-y colors.

And this bag was a Christmas present from my mom. I've been looking for a teal or turquoise bag forever.

wig: Jasmin Barnes at My Wig Studio

white peasant blouse: Max Studio

distressed skinny jeans: Vigoss Collection

pearl necklace: gift from grandma

bag: Steve Madden

heels: some random store at the mall

En Pointe

I think you've all noticed this by now: I ♥ pink. This pink and black board is similar to my You Give Me Butterflies board, only it's softer and I think a little more wearable for every day. I would wear this outfit with a messy, slightly undone ballerina bun and soft, pinkish makeup.

En Pointe by pemberleyrose featuring juicy couture bags

I Heart Disneyland

Yes, I'm two days late in posting these, but here are some pictures from when Lucas and I went to Disneyland on Wednesday. :)

I saw Winnie the Pooh and Tigger while we were in line for Splash Mountain. I was so excited that I almost convinced Lucas to get out of line just so we could go take a picture. (It was only a 5 minute wait.) We got this picture taken right after we got out of the ride. You can't really tell from looking at this picture, but our pants were SOAKED because someone insisted that I sit at the very front of the log.

Lucas gave me a stuffed Pooh Bear when we first started dating and a snow globe depicting Winnie the Pooh and the Blustery Day for Christmas. I gave him a Pooh Bear dressed in a Christmas sweater and a mini Piglet. So you can imagine that this was one of my favorite parts of the day. (And yes, we did go on the Winnie the Pooh ride right after!)

Mickey's Toontown is the most fun place to take pictures. We had a blast posing in the cars.

 

Here I am at Goofy's Gas Station. Fun Fact: We first met at a gas station, so this picture is pretty special. Hehe.

 

 

Lucas' favorite Disney character is Donald Duck. We must have gone into every single store that sold hats because he was desperate to find a Donald Duck hat. No luck. :(

We also visited Mickey's house. This picture makes me laugh every time.

We ♥ Disneyland.

We couldn't have picked a more perfect day: the middle of the week after the holidays is the way to go. It wasn't too crowded and we literally didn't have to wait in line longer than 30 minutes. The only real downside was that they closed early (8:00pm), but the short lines more than made up for that. Also, we only went on one ride at California Adventure. They are completely redoing most of the park and the letters at the front are gone! Despite these downsides, this really was one of the best dates we've had. :)

You Give Me Butterflies

Here's another inspiration board that I created with Polyvore a while ago. I love this one: pink and black Victorian Gothic romance.

You Give Me Butterflies by pemberleyrose featuring butterfly jewelry

Clair de Lune

I seriously think creating inspiration boards is my new #1 hobby. It's just so much fun to create amazing outfits - like mixing art with fashion. Here's the first set I ever created with Polyvore: soft cream and black/turn of the century loveliness.

Clair de Lune by pemberleyrose featuring ballerina flats

I joined this site about a year and a half ago. I'm not sure why I stopped creating sets after making two particularly pretty ones. Now that I'm blogging, I think it's the perfect time to start again! Besides, making inspiration boards through Polyvore is SO much easier than using PowerPoint. (I have absolutely no Photoshop skills to speak of.)

Even the Small Victories Count

Do you consider Sunday to be the end of the week or the beginning? According to the calendar, it's the beginning. For me though, having gone to school for most of my life, I always thought of Sunday as the end of the week. I had a fixed schedule in my head, really: Friday afternoons signaled the start of relaxation time and leisure. Saturdays were the days for spending time with friends or (just like yesterday) attending family parties. Sundays were different. Because I knew I had school the next morning, Sundays always lacked the carefree vibe that I loved so much about Saturdays. But I'm still on winter break. So why does it matter to me if Sundays are the beginning or the end of each week? Shouldn't I not even care what day it is? 

It matters because as a chemo patient, you really do have to know what day it is and stick to the schedule that the doctors and nurses give you. I'm in the middle of my second cycle, and I've already figured out my internal schedule - almost like clockwork. 

I receive treatments on Tuesday mornings, usually around 8:30 or 9:00. Then at 5:00 on the dot, I start feeling nauseous and dizzy. Too bad I can't take Zofran until 6:00. Damn. Come Wednesday morning, I feel even worse than before. Wednesdays are toast-and-apple days. I'm too sick to do anything, so the whole day just drags on and on. Thursday afternoon eventually rolls around and I'm feeling a little bit better. Thank God, because I'm starting to get sick of drinking Ensure. Before I know it, it's Friday and I'm more or less back to normal. And I want some real food.

This coming week though, I'm off. Tomorrow is just another Monday and I don't have to sit in traffic for half an hour just to get a blood test. I can sleep in on Tuesday morning and all I have to do is drive to the hospital to get my PICC line dressing changed. And the best part? I can eat whatever I want (within reason, of course). If I want to go to Red Robin with my BestFriend and eat a big fat burger with bottomless fries, I can. During my off-week, I don't have to think, "Oh wait. I just had treatment two days ago. Is it okay if I eat this amazing burger now, or am I just going to end up throwing it up anyway?" Guess what? I just ate a BBQ pulled pork sandwich for dinner. And do you want to know how I felt after eating that sandwich? Full. Satisfied. Enthralled, really.

I know this week is going to go by fast. Before I know it, it'll all be over and I'll be sitting in the infusion room again, counting down the hours - no, the minutes until it's toast-and-apples time again. So I'm going to enjoy this week. Lucas and I are planning to go to either Disneyland or Mt. Baldy on Wednesday. Wherever we choose to go, I know we'll have tons of fun. And maybe this week, I can finally see Faustina. (I haven't seen her since my party!) Maybe this week, we can finally go to Red Robin like we've been wanting to. I know it'll go by like a blur, but like I said, this week will be amazing. 

So yeah, it does still suck to have to count down the days until I'm FINALLY done with treatments. And yes, I am still too sad to think of how long it'll be until I can finally eat sushi. (Gosh, you're all going to think all I think about is food! Haha.) But getting through the treatment weeks and learning to really enjoy my off-weeks - those are small victories. Maybe kicking cancer's ass is about winning small victories too. 

After all, even the small victories count.

I Want These

I am seriously coveting these amazing Jeffrey Campbell ankle boots. How cute is that removable ruffle?! These would be absolutely perfect with leggings or skinny jeans. Or even better, with lacy ivory dresses or skirts for that girly military/utilitarian contrast. ::sigh:: If only I had an extra $239.95 just sitting around...

Cycle 2.1

I'm not going to try to sugarcoat or glamorize this (not that I would even know how to): Having cancer sucks. Going through chemotherapy sucks even more. As the title implies, I just started Cycle 2 today, meaning that this was my third session. Sitting there in the freezing cold infusion center for a couple of hours is never really that bad. It's boring and uncomfortable, but not something that I can really complain about.

Afterward is a different story.

After my very first session, I made the mistake of thinking, "Hey, this isn't so bad! I feel fine!" and I went to my 4:00-6:45 class that night. I realized what a bad idea that was as soon as the ten pills I took wore off - around 5:00 pm.

My second error in judgment was assuming (hoping, really) that I only felt so terrible because it was only my first treatment. "I'll get used to it," I told myself. "The next time will be better."

Wrong again.

After Cycle 2.1, I feel nauseated and tired - more so than after my first treatment. You know that feeling you get after a long road trip, when you're carsick and dizzy and sooooo tired even though you did absolutely nothing? That's how I feel right now, only about ten times worse. Ondansetron and Prochlorperazine seem to help a little with the nausea, but nothing takes away the feeling that I've had my life force drained out of me.

So while I'm still complaining, what else should I mention?

• I don't know why, but the idea of getting blood drawn from my PICC line freaks me out. Maybe it's the idea of getting stuff taken out from an open wound. ::shudder:: So far, I've been getting my blood drawn from my other arm, which hasn't been a big deal until yesterday. I had problems with getting the vein to stop bleeding, even after applying pressure. I guess from now on I'll have to suck it up and just use the PICC line for its other intended purpose.
• [WARNING: This is gross.] Speaking of the PICC line, I seem to be having a pretty bad allergic reaction to the adhesive on the dressing. I have all these bright pink bumps along my upper arm and one of the rashes was leaking some kind of questionable, yellow, pus-like fluid. Be thankful I didn't post pictures. :D 
• On a completely different note, I'm hungry but the smell of food makes me want to gag. I guess I'll be living on apples, peanut butter, and white toast for the next two to three days.
• Water tastes like metal - ick. 

Despite everything that's wrong with me right now, I'm still trying to look on the bright side of things. I've had two readers and a handful of friends and family members who've told me that I seem to have a positive attitude about all this. I guess it's because I'm trying not to complain too much (read: as much). I try to keep that old proverb in mind: "Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional."

Besides, believe it or not there has been at least one good thing to come out of this whole experience: Some of my friends whom I haven't seen in months (or years!) decided to come visit me both in and out of the infusion center. That was really what my After Christmas Party was all about this past holiday season - spending time with people who really love and support me. For anyone else who is experiencing this roadblock (and certainly anyone who is worse off than I am), try to remember this: Sure, having cancer sucks. More often than not, chemotherapy is going to make the experience suck more. But try to see the big picture - you ARE getting better. Maybe a year or two from now when I'm completely better, I won't remember the cold infusion room or how much my arm itched or how tortuous it was to not be able to eat sushi for MONTHS. Instead, I hope I will remember that I was strong enough to get through this.

That is, strong enough both physically and mentally.

Vintage Fire Engines and the Maple Leaf Rag

This 1000-piece puzzle was one of the things that I gave Lucas for Christmas.We spent a couple of hours last night trying to put it together. Let me tell you, this puzzle is hard. For all our hard work, all we have to show for so far is the top lettering and three corner pieces. Still, this is definitely becoming a wonderful couple's bonding activity. In fact, "complete a 1000-piece puzzle" is one of the many things on our couple's to-do list.

So why exactly am I sharing this? 

Well, after forcing him to listen to Lifehouse and Katy Perry for a little over an hour, I decided to play my collection of Scott Joplin's piano rags. (Yes, I do have this collection on my iTunes.) Lucas noted that "this fits the theme of the puzzle perfectly!" and he seemed to really enjoy it. Then again, I'm sure he would have enjoyed anything other than "I Kissed a Girl." :)

I also created a fashion inspiration board based on our puzzle and my favorite ragtime song, "Maple Leaf Rag." Who the heck creates outfits based on 1000-piece puzzles and a song that's over 110 years old? I do, apparently. Enjoy!

cloche hat

bow belt

lace dress

taupe heels

 

A Goldmine of Inspiration

Have you checked out we♥it? This unique website has literally thousands of gorgeous images that you can use to create inspiration boards, add something pretty to your blog, or simply just look at and admire. This is not a photo-upload site, but rather a bookmarking site where you can keep a whole album of whatever tickles your fancy. I found that using this website really helped me to further define my style: Edwardian elegance with influences from the 1920s and the Regency era - all with a modern twist, of course. Check out my vintage/antique album here.

New Year's Eve Outfit

Happy New Year! The clock struck midnight about two hours ago and I'd like to think that I welcomed 2011 in style. So what did I do for New Year's Eve this year? Same as always - stayed home and watched the ball drop on TV. But Lucas was here to ring in the New Year with me - YAY! (In fact, he's on the computer right now too, checking Ebay while I update this blog. Can you tell that we're not really the partying types?)

Anyway, today's outfit is a new favorite of mine. I think I was subconsciously inspired by the colors of my "Firework" inspiration board - I even wore the same stacked rings I featured in that post. This outfit was a lot less flashy than my inspiration board though, which was fine by me. All day long, I felt like I should be sitting in a café and sipping espresso.

lace cami: Nordstrom Rack

sweater: Abercrombie & Fitch

plaid skirt: Charlotte Russe

boots: UGG Australia

purse: H&M

beret: Nordstrom

stacked rings, necklace: Forever 21

bracelet: Juicy Couture

There you have it: my first post of the new year! I think I'm starting to get a hang of this whole blogging thing. So what's my resolution for 2011?

"to celebrate big events & little adventures" 

-Kate Spade